It's been nine months and still, I cry every night. It's only in the quiet I think of you, think of how you used to be, think of how we used to be. The dinners, the picnics, the hammocks, the priceless smiles and hugs, I miss you so much. It still hurts. No one can ever understand how it feels. After so long, it still feels like half of my heart has been wrenched away. I would give anything to turn back time. Are you here with me, now? I don't know how to explain this, but it is so painful. I'd really throw away everything I have to spend just one day with you again. I really miss you so much :( Nothing can make me happy. I feel like everyday I put on this mask, this facade that I'm so cheery I'm afraid I'm afraid they will see through me one day and they might leave too... I hate when people leave. I really hate it. No matter how much I shop and shop and I buy and buy, I know it's just to try to get over things. I'm never really happy. I really need you, Lord. I give my all to you, I commit everything to your hands. Just hold her tight, for me please?
You know how it feels like to be stuck in one place, over and over again? Despite being in different places and situations all the time, this heart stays the same all the time. The scars are still being revisited all the time.
Tonight, I feel like I'd never get better.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
hi steph, its gny here..I dont think I know anyone enough to comment..I hate it when people tell me to cheer up when Im obviously not going to for quite sometime..so I guess all that there is, is actually the pain? Its there but its going to be something thats gonna get you going. I cant say I understand what youre going through and Im not going to pretend I do or ask you to get over it but stepylove you deserve more than just sadness so its always your choice to make life more or less hurting than it is now..by the way Im not telling how what why but you secretly make me cry, not that it matters to whoever but girl you touch hearts
ReplyDeleteHey gny, thanks for letting me know? :) yeah i guess sometimes we all dont realise how insensitive 'cheer up' is... afterall, it's the easiest thing to say but the hardest thing to do(for the one receiving it).
ReplyDelete